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"I Don't Even Know What Makes Me Happy Anymore" - How to take a step forward.

Updated: Nov 16, 2021

Whelp, my second fitness competition came and went, and wow did I learn a lot!

This VLOG is for you if you:

- Feel like you’ve lost motivation for like EVERRRYTHING

- Don’t really know what you even enjoy anymore, UGH

- Want to get your motivation and joy back, but how the F do you even???

Watch the video, transcript below.

"I've been hiding out in my own little cave"


Hey it's Heather, here's an update for you because I have been hiding out in my own little cave for quite some time and we will get to what happened there...First of all

Fitness Competition

The competition I was going to do was the fitness competition, and it was a couple of weeks ago...I think... I don't actually know, because... I didn't dooooo it.

First of all, how do I feel that I didn't do it?

Well it seems clear that I'm fine about it given I don't even remember what the date was..

Second of all, I could've done it, but I chose not to do it, I think that's the first thing that's really important to address here. I could have done the bikini portion and probably done quite well, but I wanted to do the fitness portion because I wanted to see more development in particular areas, namely my legs and my abs since the first time competition. The first time I did the competition really was just to experience what that was like. So this time around I had particular goals that I hadn't met so I chose not to do it.

Side Note:

Advice for first time competitors:

If you are working towards your first competition, the most important thing I want you to know is that it needs to be all about YOU celebrating YOUR success.

I never felt ready for my first competition at all. I didn't feel like I looked good enough to be on-stage and I don't know if we ever get to a point where we ever feel like we look good enough to be on-stage, but I think the most important thing to remember is that you CAN'T be judging how you look compared to other people. You have to be able to look at yourself and celebrate your own successes.

Looking back on my first competition, I was very, very proud of the work that I put in, and the way I did the competition. I didn't want to do a competition diet. I wanted to eat without restriction and have that freedom, and my whole goal was to see how good could I really look by eating the food that I enjoy and not doing any sort of restrictive dieting. When I look at how I approached it, I was very, very pleased, and pleased enough and proud enough to walk out on that stage and just own that. So I want you guys, if you're doing your first competition to feel that way about yourself. It's your journey, you need to be proud of you, and the work that you've put in. That's all I have to say about that for now.

"I don't even know what I enjoy anymore"

The other reason why I chose not to do the competition was because I wasn't in a place where I could give it a 100% anymore. "Life stuff" started to happen, and that is normal, it happens and sometimes at times that aren't idea.

Originally, I was really looking forward to the mental challenge of the competition. Sure, I wanted to see certain result, I wanted bigger legs and I wanted more defined abs, but really the main purpose for me was the mental challenge, really uncovering where I put my own barriers up in respect to motivation, where do I hold myself back from being successful. Now I got way more than I bargained for on that. I definitely uncovered a lot of things, and a lot of hard stuff that I was not prepared for. So, where I'm at now is that I actually don't even know what I enjoy any more. Aside from my work, I know that I really love coaching, I love teaching, I really enjoy taking care of my body from the physical aspect, you know the working out, all of those things. I know there are certain things that I enjoy that are important to me, but beyond that, beyond work and working out and travel and a few other things, I don't even really know what makes me happy anymore and I haven't been the person that I've wanted to be. I haven't been calm and patient and supportive and I don't like that. Who I want to be is my goofy, energetic, silly self, and she sort of got lost somewhere.

"I lost all motivation to do anything"

I have not been feeling fulfilled for a long time and I didn't really notice that either, well, I noticed but I didn't really think it was a big deal. So what happened was that I lost all motivation to do anything (aside from the working out, because it's something that I know I enjoy and I am completely confident with) But I did lose all motivation for even work and doing posts for you guys and putting out information and really thinking about what my goals were for my business. Even though I love my business and I love what I do, I don't even know what I want that to look like right now. So, I've really lost motivation for everything, what that feels like everything, and it was really, really sad.

One of the most important questions to getting the joy back

So, I am now on my own personal adventure. I am away from home. I am in BC by myself, trying to figure out how would I like to spend my time, and one of the most important questions that I love to ask myself and my clients is:

"If I was single, what would I do?"

For some reason when we have a partner or a family, we can feel obligated to spend time with them, or wonder how they would feel or, what they would think if we wanted to go out on our own, or do something without them. Which means, we don't often think "well, what do I personally want to do..?"

"If I could do anything I wanted to do right now, what would it be?"

So, if I was single? What would I do? And it's an excellent question for getting me out, going to do things, thinking about what I might want to learn, read, see, and that makes me feel fulfilled.

I know that you guys out there, who have either been in this place before or actually in this place right now, and I know some of my clients are there too, not really knowing who they are as a person.

If you are thinking about these questions:

What kind of person am I?

Who do I want to be as a person?

What makes me feel fulfilled?

What do I want for my life?

If that is you, I would love to hear from you. If you are in that place, it's okay. Whether you realize it or not, there are specific reasons that you're where you are. I think back about how I arrived here now, I'm slowly piecing together what had happened, how I lost touch with all of these things, which is important for me to know.

Everrrryone goes through this, you are okay!

If this is where you are too, know that everybody goes through it. I've been here once before, but it was a long time ago, I figured it out then and I'm figuring it out again.

I wanted to communicate what I was going through but I haven't felt really sure how to, how to communicate where I'm at right now. I didn't really know what to say, I didn't really know how I felt about it, so I just haven't said anything, and also that's ok too.

Stop with the expectations already - NO ONE is dying

Relieve yourself of any pressure that you have, or expectations that you're putting on yourself and just focus on what you need to do for yourself. Remember, nobody is dying, (unless you're a doctor, or you're an emergency person or somebody who literally saves lives.) No one's dying and everything will be okay if you don't respond or answer, or don't know what to say, don't know what to do.

This feeling that you're feeling... it is ONLY TEMPORARY.

If you're feeling this too, or have been here and can relate, let me know, I'd love to hear from you.

Talk to you soon.


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Heather Layton – Fitness and Nutrition Coach


Get Fit Eat Cupcakes


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