"I Don't Even Know What Makes Me Happy Anymore" - How to take a step forward.

Updated: Nov 16, 2021

Whelp, my second fitness competition came and went, and wow did I learn a lot!

This VLOG is for you if you:

- Feel like you’ve lost motivation for like EVERRRYTHING

- Don’t really know what you even enjoy anymore, UGH

- Want to get your motivation and joy back, but how the F do you even???

Watch the video, transcript below.

"I've been hiding out in my own little cave"


Hey it's Heather, here's an update for you because I have been hiding out in my own little cave for quite some time and we will get to what happened there...First of all

Fitness Competition

The competition I was going to do was the fitness competition, and it was a couple of weeks ago...I think... I don't actually know, because... I didn't dooooo it.

First of all, how do I feel that I didn't do it?

Well it seems clear that I'm fine about it given I don't even remember what the date was..

Second of all, I could've done it, but I chose not to do it, I think that's the first thing that's really important to address here. I could have done the bikini portion and probably done quite well, but I wanted to do the fitness portion because I wanted to see more development in particular areas, namely my legs and my abs since the first time competition. The first time I did the competition really was just to experience what that was like. So this time around I had particular goals that I hadn't met so I chose not to do it.

Side Note:

Advice for first time competitors:

If you are working towards your first competition, the most important thing I want you to know is that it needs to be all about YOU celebrating YOUR success.

I never felt ready for my first competition at all. I didn't feel like I looked good enough to be on-stage and I don't know if we ever get to a point where we ever feel like we look good enough to be on-stage, but I think the most important thing to remember is that you CAN'T be judging how you look compared to other people. You have to be able to look at yourself and celebrate your own successes.

Looking back on my first competition, I was very, very proud of the work that I put in, and the way I did the competition. I didn't want to do a competition diet. I wanted to eat without restriction and have that freedom, and my whole goal was to see how good could I really look by eating the food that I enjoy and not doing any sort of restrictive dieting. When I look at how I approached it, I was very, very pleased, and pleased enough and proud enough to walk out on that stage and just own that. So I want you guys, if you're doing your first competition to feel that way about yourself. It's your journey, you need to be proud of you, and the work that you've put in. That's all I have to say about that for now.

"I don't even know what I enjoy anymore"

The other reason why I chose not to do the competition was because I wasn't in a place where I could give it a 100% anymore. "Life stuff" started to happen, and that is normal, it happens and sometimes at times that aren't idea.

Originally, I was really looking forward to the mental challenge of the competition. Sure, I wanted to see certain result, I wanted bigger legs and I wanted more defined abs, but really the main purpose for me was the mental challenge, really uncovering where I put my own barriers up in respect to motivation, where do I hold myself back from being successful. Now I got way more than I bargained for on that. I definitely uncovered a lot of things, and a lot of hard stuff that I was not prepared for. So, where I'm at now is that I actually don't even know what I enjoy any more. Aside from my work, I know that I really love coaching, I love teaching, I really enjoy taking care of my body from the physical aspect, you know the working o